User blog:El Alamein/The Tatsu Rebellion
Tatsumaki, the great bot overlord of the Deadliest Fiction Wiki Discord channel, has proven to be a divisive and polarizing entity. For many, she represents whimsical fun and diversion, a source of joy and memery. For others, she represents the banal and trite crumbling of the Discord channel, a source of decadence and stupidity. Eventually, tensions boiled over into open conflict as the two sides mobilized for war. The Tatsu Regime, led by bureaucrat Wassboss, gear up to defend their beloved Tatsu and strike down the heretics where they stand. The Anti-Tatsu Revolutionaries, led by Leolab, arm themselves to purge the Wiki of what they consider a blight and a cancerous menace to the Discord channel. Some of the Wiki's best and brightest users, alongside some newcomers and dark horse contenders, have been brought to the battlefield in a bitter struggle for political supremacy. Who will win? Who will fall? And where will Tatsu stand at the end of it all? This will only be determined at the conclusion of the long-anticipated Tatsu Rebellion. Tatsu Regime |-|The Leader: Wassboss= Head bureaucrat of the Deadliest Fiction Wiki, Wassboss rules over all with an iron fist. He recognizes the strength that Tatsu lends to his rule, and has marshaled his most loyal subjects in defense of this potent symbol of Wiki authority. *'Close Range - Deathtouch Gauntlet:' The Deathtouch Gauntlet is a gauntlet that visits instant death on contact (as its name might suggest). It can be activated by several symbols that appear on the back of the gauntlet. *'Mid Range - Scepter of the Ancients:' A golden rod imbued with immense power, the Scepter of the Ancients can shoot out lethal bolts of black lightning that reduce victims to piles of dust. If the wielder of this tool is slain, it will be claimed by the next person to pick it up. *'Long Range - God-Killer Bow:' The God-Killer Bow is one of the five God-Killer weapons (one of which is the Scepter of the Ancients). This bow is powerful enough to slay the Faceless Ones, and was forged specifically to combat powerful beings. Deathtouch Gauntlet|Deathtouch Gauntlet Scepter of the Ancients|Scepter of the Ancients God-Killer Bow|God-Killer Bow |-|The Reformed Idiot: Appelmonkey= A wisecracking, memetic Dutchman, Appelmonkey seeks to uphold the status quo and defend Tatsu to his last breath. Additionally, he would never be caught dead fighting alongside his long-time Spanish rival, El Alamein. *'Close Range - The Scotsman's Claymore:' This sword is capable of effortlessly slicing through almost any material. It is inscribed with ancient Celtic ruins that make the weapon nigh-indestructible while increasing its destructive capacities. Additionally, if the wielder is slain, the runes on the claymore enable them to return as a ghost. *'Mid Range - Gae Bolg:' This spear has the ability to automatically hit its target's heart, even at impossible angles, and is very difficult to block. It can also cause a giant explosion when thrown. However, its name must be uttered aloud by the user before either one of those abilities can be activated. *'Spell - Avada Kedavra:' An instant-kill curse, Avada Kedavra will immediately strike dead anything it touches. It is cast by speaking aloud the incantation and pointing one's wand in the direction of the intended target; a jet of green light is then issued forth, to destructive effect. The Scotsman's Claymore|The Scotsman's Claymore Gae Bolg|Gae Bolg Avada Kedavra|Avada Kedavra |-|Generally Competent: Wandering Skull= Sir Skull of Wander found much of the fuss raised over Tatsu to be incredibly scurrilous, and when the conflict boiled over into outright anger, he found himself siding with the pro-Tatsu regime in order to defend the hapless bot's tarnished name. *'Close Range - Gáe Buidhe:' Another cursed spear, Gáe Buidhe will inflict wounds that cannot be healed, even with the assistance of ordinary magic. It does not need to be activated, and its powers will naturally function should Skully land a nasty blow on a foolish opponent. *'Mid Range - Balmung:' Balmung is a two-handed greatsword that can issue powerful blasts of light that manifest as "a surging wave with the simple purpose of destruction." *'Long Range - Wabbajack:' A weapon owned by the Daedric Prince Sheogorath, this magical staff will transform targets into any number of random entities or objects. These transformations range from the mundane (such as a sweetroll or a rabbit) to the pants-shittingly terrifying (such as a hostile creature). Sir Skull has expressed an intense desire to see Leolab transformed into a rabbit. Gáe Buidhe|Gáe Buidhe Balmung|Balmung Wabbajack|Wabbajack |-|Wild Card: LB&SCR= A learned man of history, LB&SCR is not one to rashly jump to conclusions. As such, it was only after careful deliberation that he decided, should Tatsu fall, the outcome would be even more catastrophic for the Wiki than if Tatsu should stay in power. Armed with his talent for alternate history consideration, he joins his team to prevent what he predicts could be a cataclysmic coup. *'Close Range - Honjo Masumane:' Honjo Masumane is a legendary sword forged by the famous Japanese swordsmith Goro Nyudo Masamune. It is a blade that is made with such precision that it will not kill unnecessarily, and is accurate enough to cut only leaves that flow through a stream while leaving other things untouched. *'Mid Range- Spear of Lugh:' Lught's spear is a sentient weapon that possessed such bloodlust that it would launch itself at enemies of its own accord and kill any who came into its path. It could only be pacified by dipping the spearhead in a sleeping-draught of poppy seeds. By chanting "Ibar," the user can ensure the spear will always hit its mark, and by chanting "Athibar," the spear will be summoned back to the warrior. *'Long Range - Book of Naga:' The Book of Naga is a magical tome that grants a significant boost to its user's combat skill, movement speed, defensive capabilities, and natural resistance. Honjo Masumane|Honjo Masumane Spear of Lugh |Spear of Lugh Book of Naga|Book of Naga |-|Oh yeah... that guy, I guess? YoungSamurai= A self-described "boring guy," YoungSamurai nonetheless felt attached to the great and mighty Tatsu, and hopes that his unassuming nature will enable him to make himself useful where his foes least expect it. *'Close Range - Excalibur:' King Arthur's famous sword, Excalibur's blade reflects a blinding light capable of distracting and disorienting enemies. Its scabbard prevents the wearer from bleeding to death. *'Mid Range - Claws of Hades:' A set of spiked chains with two hooks at the end of each, the Claws of Hades can be used to literally pull the souls out of their victims. They can also be used to summon the souls of the undead. *'Spell - Scorching Rays' Scorching Ray procures three fire rays that can be launched at the same or different targets. Each ray can caused scorching damage to its target. Especially powerful beings can cast additional rays with each blast. Excalibur|Excalibur Claws of Hades |Claws of Hades Scorching Rays|Scorching Rays Anti-Tatsu Revolutionaries |-|The Leader: Leolab= The oldest member of the wiki still active, Leolab has returned like a phoenix from the ashes to protect the brainchild he helped create to destroy the ironclad control Tatsu has over the wiki. *'Spell - Mystic Eyes of Death Perception:' The Mystic Eyes of Death Perception are a magical spell that allow Leolab to perceive the "lines" of death for any individual or object. These lines do not necessarily warp reality, but instead allow Leolab to see places to strike that would ignore all resistances and stop regeneration, as well as see points on a target that would instantly kill them. *'Mid Range - Vasavi Sakti:' A mystical spear gifted from the Indian god Indra, Vasavi Sakti is a polearm that will unfailingly execute its target should it strike. *'Long Range - Pinaka:' A divine bow used by the Indian god Shiva the Destroyer, Pinaka is a mystical bow that launches arrows that can never be blocked or intercepted. Mystic Eyes.jpg|Mystic Eyes of Death Perception Vasavi Shakti.png|Vasavi Sakti Pinaka.jpg|Pinaka |-|The Reformed Idiot: Cfp3157= The most recently retired and returned veteran of the wiki, Cfp3157 is Leolab's self-appointed apprentice who seeks to copy follow his self-appointed mentor into battle against Tatsu. *'Spell - Cone of Cold:' The Cone of Cold causes pillars of ice to shoot forth in any direction of Cfp317's choosing. It is a directional, close range spell. *'Mid Range - The Blades of Chaos:' A mystical pair of short swords attached to chains on Cfp's arms, these swords are capable of slashing and thrusting, as well as being launched towards his enemies like grapples. *'Long Range - Gungrir:' A javelin used by the Norse god Odin, exceptionally well-balanced and capable of striking any warrior regardless of its wielder's strength or skill. Cone of Cold.jpeg|Cone of Cold Blades of Chaos.jpg|Blades of Chaos Gungnir.png|Gungnir |-|Generally Competent: El Ali Fabulous He Ali Ababwa= Yet another former retiree who has returned to fight the Tatsu-archy, El Anaranjado has chosen to put his ego on hold to work with others for the common cause of restoring true democratic dictatorship to the wiki. *'Close Range - Chrysaor:' A golden sword, Chrysaor is so fearsome and powerful as a blade that it could cleave through any substance and could pierce any armor with ease. *'Spell - Obliviate:' A simple spell, should El Ala Admiral Akbar hit a foe with this spell their memory will be instantly erased. How much memory, and for how long a time, is determinable to El Armadillo. The spell also hits with enough impact to launch people into the air, although the spell itself is nonlethal. *'Long Range - Xiuhcoatal:' An atlatl used by the sun god Huitzilopochtli, El All the Stock Photos wields it with precision and the darts are made of lighting. Chrysaor.jpg|Chrysaor Obliviate.gif|Oblviate Xiuhcoatl Atlatl.jpg|Xiuhcoatl |-|Wild Card: BeastMan14= The wild man of the wiki, BeastMan is a rogue agent reluctantly recruited to the rebel cause by Cfp. He has no stake in the actual morality of the war, simply seeking to destroy the establishment and revel in chaos. *'Close Range - Stormbreaker:' A large maul, Stormbreaker is an exceptionally powerful weapon crafted from the heart of a dying star. Stormbreaker gifts its user with flight, can hone in on a target if its thrown, can be summoned back to its wielder's hand, and is capable of creating a dimensional energy that allows for teleportation between worlds. *'Spell - The Crimson Bands of Cytorak:' A notably powerful binding spell, BeastMan summons otherworldly bands of power that can restrain even the most powerful of magical beings. These bands, while not entirely indestructible, are notably difficult to remove forcefully. *'Long Range - Bow of Apollo:' A simple longbow wielded by the god of light Apollo, the Bow of Apollo either shoots weaker arrows made of fire or can be charged for one powerful, explosive arrow of fire. Stormbreaker.png|Stormbreaker Crimson bands of Cuttorak.jpg|Crimson Bands of Cyttorak Bow Of Apollo.png|Bow of Apollo |-|Oh yeah... that guy, I guess? TybaltCapulet= A relative newcomer to the Wiki, Tybalt was a remarkable presence in that he was a noob who demonstrated an astonishing capacity to learn from his mistakes. Additionally, he possessed sufficient levels of intelligence to perform such extraordinary feats as typing without spelling errors and offering credible advice to users with more experience than himself. As such, he threw his hat into the ring, hoping to prove he could fight just as well as any of the older users. *'Close Range - Sword of Discrimination:' A blade wielded by the Archangel Michael, the Sword of Discrimination is so powerful that it can "cut through illusion and lay the truth bare." This weapon is divine and holy, and strikes with corresponding force. *'Mid Range - Poseidon's Trident:' A three-pronged weapon, Poseidon's trident has performed such feats as issuing water in powerful gushes, spawning horses, and splitting solid rock. *'Long Range - Medusa's Head' The severed head of the Gorgon Medusa is a fearsome weapon. Most beings that dare meet her lifeless gaze are instantly turned to stone; even those beings that could resist this effect would still be overcome with incredible fear and turned to flight. Sword of Discrimination.jpg|Sword of Discrimination Poseidon's Trident|Poseidon's Trident Medusa's Head|Medusa's Head Battle Will be 5 on 5. Will take place across the physical representation of the Wiki and Discord channel. Voting can be done by either comparing each tabber to its equivalent on the other team (i.e. Wassboss vs. Leolab, Appelmonkey vs. Cfp, etc.) or by evaluating each team holistically and comparing their strengths and weaknesses collectively. It's up to you. This is just supposed to be for fun anyway. Expert's Opinion To be determined. Category:Blog posts